Persuasion: How To Get People To Say “YES” To You
Influencing and persuading others is a beneficial skill when it comes to overcoming doubt and a fear of failure. No matter what is going on in your life, we all want to know how to get more people to say “YES” to our requests. Somewhere along your change journey, you are going to need the assistance of others. So how do you get them to agree to help you? In this episode we discuss the three pillars of influence and persuasion.
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There are three techniques that can be used to influence and persuade someone to your side.
- Logical. Within the logical approach, you are going to speak to their rational, sensible and intellectual side. [01:47]
- Emotional. When utilizing an emotional approach, you will connect your logical message with their values and their goals [01:51]
- Cooperative. Collaboration (what you will do together); consultation (seeking the input of others); or alliances (built with people who support you or you partner with someone who has the credibility you need [02:02]
When influencing someone using logic, you are going to be presenting them with all the facts and figures [02:32]
- If you are trying to logically decide what home you need to buy,
- you will want to know what homes are appraising for in the neighborhood,
- what the interest rates are currently averaging,
- how long the house has been on the market,
- proximity to your job,
- the schools your kids would attend
There is a lot of information that goes into making a logical decision.
What happens when we present someone with all the logic needed to persuade them to agree with us and they still don’t? [04:01]
The shortcomings of a solely logical based approach. [04:06]
- Some studies have concluded we make all of our decisions from an emotional perspective. They concluded that we make an emotional connection first, and then we justify that connection with logic.
- You are trying to recreate the feeling that you felt once your beliefs changed. It was not until your beliefs changed that you looked up all the fact and figures to support your belief.
- What experience influenced the belief you have now? What event is the reason you are so passionate about the issue?
- Whatever that event or experience is what you need to recreate when attempting to persuade and influence another to your cause [05:02]
Emotional Approach:
- One of the best ways to convey an emotional message is to tell a story.
- Often our ability to influence is directly related to the person’s perception of us.
- If someone has a positive feeling about us, the likelihood of us being able to persuade them dramatically increases.
- The opposite is also true. When someone has a negative impression about us, there is little we can say (even if we had certified proof) to influence them towards our cause. [05:55]
My parents have the ability to say things anything to me and I know they are coming from a place of love. [06:10]
- They have devoted over three-decades to raising, supporting and guiding me.
- Who in your life has put in the work and built a foundation of trust with you?
- If you want to influence and persuade others, you are going to need to put in the work. You cannot act as if you can just show up and ask somebody for something, without first building a relationship. [06:40]
How do you influence an influencer so they can say yes to your requests?
- like their content,
- follow them on social media,
- share their content, build the relationship
When attempting to get someone as passionate about something as you are, the best way to do so is to focus on recreating the moment that changed your outlook. [08:40]
- Be as vivid and detailed as possible.
- Your goal is to have the person engage all 5 senses so they can live in the moment of your story.
The story that placed me on the path of becoming a mentor of change. [08:45]
- Presented him with all the facts and it changed nothing.
- I knew I needed to understand what it takes to persuade someone to change their position.
What is holding most people back from change?
Our mental filters hold most of back from changing our lives [09:45]
- Everything in those filters is based on what we believe today?
- Everything outside of those mental filters is things our mind believes are not important to us.
- Example of our mental filters in action.
- Your mental filters will block the information it believes is outside of your reality.
How hard is it to make a decision without emotions? Let’s do the tie test to find out.[11:47]
How do people feel about their Representative in Congress versus how they feel about Congress overall? [12:57]
- Congress will have a 13% approval rating, but people continue to vote for their representative.
- What makes the individual person’s Congressman so popular, but Congress as a whole is strongly disliked?
- It is because the Representative has built an emotional connection with his or her constituents.
The Cooperative approach [14:27]
- collaborate: what will you do together
- consulting: asking others for their input.
- alliance: working with your fans or someone with authority you need to utilize.
Putting It All Together – purchasing a new car from the dealership [15:26]
- Can you think of how logical, emotional and cooperative persuasion techniques could be used at the dealership?
- Logical: list the miles per gallon, features, safety rating, etc.
- Emotional: how will my friends and coworkers perceive me when I purchase this vehicle. The salesperson is complimenting your choice and reinforcing it by mentioning how everyone who has that vehicle is happy with their purchase.
- Cooperative: take the car on a test drive and during the price negotiations. The salesperson has positioned themselves as your advocate, against the owner and finance manager of the dealership.
- Once you understand the art of persuasion, it is something you can repeat on a regular basis. [21:26]
Life Changing Quotes:
- All of our decisions are made from an emotional perspective [04:06]
- We have to make an emotional connection for us to be able to make a logical connection [05:16]
- One of the best ways to convey an emotional message is to tell a story [05:28]
- When you want to influence and persuade other people, you got to put in the work [06:34]
- When something takes work, it means when you do it, you are going to be better than 90% of people who quit before trying [07:21]
- Our mind blocks out what it believes (based on our past experiences) are things that are unimportant to us [10:35]
- People like to feel like their voice is being heard and their solutions are being acknowledged [14:56]
- Once you understand the art of persuasion, it is something you can repeat on a regular basis. [21:26]
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[12:41]
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